Am i backslidding?

i think i have trying to miss church this few weeks. all the excuses ii cam up with. i have no idea but subconsciously realise that i dread both sat and sun. i really feel that i should not be there lah. i am not there league lah. i have nothing in common with them and i really feel pressized by the people there. i am not aligned with them at all. its been 2 years already and i don't feel that i am able to get along with them well.

i am really sorry for coming up with the silly excuses and i am sure they know. i suddenly feel like going back to the church i was born in.

God, i am really sorry that my alignment with u is very unstable. i really want to align with u. just that so many things have happened and i really do not see the point in christ sometimes. i do ponder why am i born a christian, accepted christ with me even agreeing to it. sometime i do envy those people who were saved by their friends. at least they accepted christ because they have experienced God before they accepted christ. i have never. i dunno why i even accepted christ in the 1st place. I just pray for a miracle...

God u can read my mind, u do know what i want and what i need...

Bye, Amen

Adam kee
7july`90
cjc, singapore
Christian
Cjc choir
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